Lets SCREAM..............

They are screaming, ranting, shouting, hurling abuses. They are pained, disgusted and much much more than that. At least this is what, we here, sitting in Punjab thousands of miles from Mumbai get to see and hear. Mumbai is angry... every paper and new channel says.
Is Mumbai really angry? This is what I want to know for if this city and the Mumbaikars are really angry then there is some hope but if it is only for the papers and the television then it is better forgotten.

But then why is Mumbai angry? Because of the terror attack! This is not the first attack then why is Mumbai screaming now? Why did Mumbai or any of us scream, shout, hurl abuses when Punjab was burning or when rather even now as I write this, some family would be getting killed at the hands of terrorists in Kashmir or human rights would be trampled beneath the feet of armed forces in the North East... hell why is Mumbai screaming now.

They are screaming, they say our democracyos joke, they want president's rule, they want all politicians hung and people like Simi Garewal (sic) wants India to start a war on Pakistan. But then our democracy is not a joke and not even out polity. Simi Garewal can ask for a war for she knows she will never have to go on the border to fight. Leave that no one will even invite that haggard lady to come and entertain the forces.

And if she is ever called, then some channel will call her and there in TV dressed in white, this lady can again call for yet another war and also say, " lets keep a silence of two minutes for our dead soldier" (sic).

Scream, please do scream, respond please do not react, let Mumbaikars, Chennaikars, Ludhianakars every possible damn `kar' scream, but please scream each time someone is shot dead by the terrorist and let that be anywhere in the world. Open up your arms, broaden your boundaries, let us scream and scream for PEACE.

Foot steps

Foots steps from the past
came in silently
knocked on my door
a little loudly
my door, my home shut tight
for all these years
at first I didn' t let them in
but finally did
they gushed in like a strong wind from the past
I stood watching it striking my face
ruffling my hair
forcing me take a step back
once again into my past
teasing me with memories long forgotten
challenging me
and I did step back
one step
and let the foot steps brush away
the cobwebs cluttering the walls.

Lets sweat it out toghether

Dear Badals,

And by this I mean all but only those belonging to the high fi political family of Punjab. But then I would leave the little children out for I would never like to see them go through a life that the patriarch of this family Parkash Singh Badal has put the thousands and lakhs of children of Punjab through.
No power for almost entire day and the man who wants to be remembered as the architect of modern Punjab is actually sending us all back to the days of no power. No power in a state that prides itself for this Bhakra Dam and what not. Wow!!!
I invite the Badals to spend just one day sweating it out with the people. No I do not mean sweating out during the elections. This they do for power and not sewa like the senior Badal loves to say each time. It smacks of hypocrisy.
And above all the state which is reeling under power crisis which the experts say will only worsen, Badal junior, Sukhbir, asks his party MPs to vote against the N Deal. Take a walk some where far from Punjab, Sukhbir.

The quest

A strange kind of feeling has surrounded me these days... I use the word surround very carefully for I feel this feeling all around me. It travels with me as I leave my home for office or vice a verse... it comes back to me in middle of the night when I am dead asleep.... this feeling is beyond time and space.

Wait I can explain. All this began when one evening browsing through books at the Book Cafe I picked up Swati Chopra's Dharamsala Dairies. This is one book I wanted to read after I read about it in the Indian Express one Sunday. But then this is not just all, I have this special link with Dharamsala for I have studied in Sacred Heart Convent School, Sidhbari. I have spent the three best years of my life here... at least this is the way I think so.

At first I thought this book will just help me connect with Dharamsala and its environment once again which I had kind of lost in this humdrum of life. This was my simple idea. I began reading the book and thought, that I will be able to finish within a day or at the most two if I have to go to office. But then that was not to be. I would read, at the most five pages and put the book down so that the book never ends. No the style of writing is usual, just as the way most writers write in English these days. It is the journey of the author that I want to be a part of.

When the author talks about she sitting in the balcony of her guest house, I see myself, shuddered in a heavy woolen shawl with the clouds around me. Yes I remember the nights that I have spent as a child in a guest house in Barot where clouds would float in through the window in the dead of the night and I would try and catch them in my small hands...

When the author walks down the crowded bazaars of Mcleodganj I can see my looking at the shops from outside wanting to buy each and every thing that I can see... the dainty porcelain tea cup, the shiny jacket, the antique jewellery. And I end up buying steaming momos, eight for Rs 10...

The authors quest for Buddhism is slightly heavy for me. But I want sit in the monastery silently, lost in the thought, amongst the huge tall trees with a cold bare floor beneath me and look into the eyes of Buddha...

This is the book that I want to be for now..................

Contradictions....

At present I stand at crossroads.... and once again it is for Sidharth. When this boy was just two and half years old I had to chose my path... one that led to him and only him and the other that kept me on the track which every one my family, a good section of friends and honestly even a part of me wanted to stay on.. the usual marriage and family......

Anyways that is past.....and the choices have been long made.......but now once again I have to make some choices. Sidharth has been following his routine of behavioural therapy for quite some time now and suddenly I am told that in case he is put in a gluten free casein free diet, he can be cured of his autism. Confusing, for the data available on the net, for and against this theory, is equal.

Changing an entire diet plan, no wheat, no milk or milk products for an eight year old child who loves his fare share of chapattis, cookies and simply can not live without paneer is very tough and if I do not do that, will I be loosing out on a chance to cure my son.

I do not know, I just want the best for him but for now I am confused. I have been postponing this decision for very very long now and now I know it is not possible to postpone it any further. I have to take a decision but what.................

Khuda ke liye.................

At first I felt that this picture was kind of anti Americans. And as I voiced this opinion about the film to one of my friends the reply I got shook me from within. He remarked, " see America and Americans from the eyes of a Muslim."

Yes this film is a must must see. Must see for this film invokes in one self, totally new feelings, sensitivity and emotions. Directed by Shoaib Mansoor, it is common knowledge that this film is a great hit. It has a great music, excellent cast, story line, music, direction and this list of greats can go on and on. But amidst all these greats the film sends across its message of humanity so strongly and beautifully that it makes one cry.

While watching the film one cries when Shaan goes through his pain of being branded as a terrorist or when Maryam is duped into marrying her cousin who is a muslim fanatic and one cries even for Sarmad as his travels from a liberal to fanatic and them back. And after the film ends one cries for one self for how heartless, how inhuman we all have become.

This is one film which I recommend to all those friends of mine or those people who love to trash Islam and Muslims, all those people who without even having known a single Muslim throughout their lives, yet love to say that all Muslims are terrorist or that Islam is a regressive religion.

I will not go into the debate of religion for I personally do not believe in any one of them but yes I can never trash a person just because he or she belongs to certain religion, cast, creed or colour.

Khuda ke liye is a film for all of us for it helps bring to life those beautiful feelings that are we have all buried deep into our hearts.

Khuda ke liye watch Khuda ke liye.... give your self a chance........

Memory

Clich'ed it may sound but I am back and interestingly a friends of mine brought me back here. In her process of creating a blog I decided to revisit mine.

So much has changed not around me but in me and I like the changes. It is no use going over the reasons that have brought about these changes for they are nothing but reasons, it is me that I am loving more by each day.
Love yourself first and only then can you spread love around. I have been told this many a times in my life but then the meaning of this statement it depth and its magnaimity hit me in its true self just recently.
I am not ashamed to admit this for it is not very easy to find one self in all the humdrum around us. The noises inside me and the out side never let me meet my self.

I